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calmed

I have a surgical wound from a cancerous mole removal on my right, upper back. It is infected and not healing well. The result was taking some down time to not do anything, to truly rest and relax, facilitating my immune system to reign supreme. For both days I had a background thinking voice; overwhelmed by the feeling that I was not keeping up, that there are too many things I’m not doing around the house and I am, therefore, creating a terrible hoarding situation and totally out of control.

This morning I woke up feeling playful. The dog and I were telling silly jokes in secretive whispers and tale wagging. I realized the list of things I should be doing, other than “screen time.” Today my voice said silently, “Relax, you are stressing so much about how you should be meditating and doing yoga that you’re counteracting the effects. Be present all the time.”

Suddenly a whoosh of energy ran past me and out of me and I sunk back into my body and relaxed. The anxiety had dissipated and I felt calm. More calm than I’ve felt in months.

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